Bridezilla Fuming After Busy Friend Passes Up On Being Her Maid Of Honor

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abbyadler
Jun 16, 2022 7:00 PM EDT

Being a bridesmaid is no joke. While it sounds like it would be fun and games in theory, there's a whole lot of responsibility involved. It's not just about wearing pretty matching dresses, even though that part is totally awesome. As a bridesmaid, it's important to be present at the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, and of course, the big event AKA the wedding itself. Obviously, there's a lot of money that goes into the planning, and many bridemaids barely financially recover from their very expensive duties. If being a bridesmaid seems difficult, imagine leading the whole group as the maid of honor. If someone can't take on the responsibilities of the maid of honor, then they shouldn't take it in. In today's 'Am I the A$$hole?' post, OP posted about how her friend is upset with her for passing up on being the MOH because she knows she won't have time to properly take on the role. Scroll down for all the bridezilla drama that ensued. 

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  • 01
    Product - r/AmItheAsshole. Posted by u/tweetybirdlover 7 hours ago AITA for refusing to be maid of honor because it's too much work?
    via u/tweetybirdlover

    Being the maid of honor is a full-time job, so we totally get where she's coming from. 

  • 02
    Font - A little background. I work full time and am sole caregiver for my husband. He is still able to do a lot for himself but there's also still a lot that falls on me and because of this I'm constantly exhausted and trying to find time and energy to do everything I need to do. My friends know this though some don't really understand how time consuming and exhausting it is because they see him able to do things at gatherings.
    via u/tweetybirdlover

    Sounds pretty rough. Our hearts go out to OP. 

  • 03
    Font - A friend of mine is getting married and asked me to be the maid of honor. I was touched that she asked but told her that while I was thankful for the offer I couldn't accept. I let her know I was still willing to be a bridesmaid or just a guest if she preferred that but that I couldn't take on the responsibility of being maid of honor at this time. She blew up at me and said I'm being selfish and a bad friend. She also said that "everyone" thinks I've been extremely selfish this past year
    via u/tweetybirdlover
  • 04
    Font - I gave up on arguing with her and just repeated that I don't have the time/energy to commit to being maid of honor she then told me I didn't need to bother finding the time/energy to even come to the wedding at all. Now the entire friend group is split with some taking her side and saying I'm wrong for not making an effort and others taking my side saying she needs to recognize my other responsibilities. The replacement maid of honor has 4 kids under the age of 6 which the bride and those
    via u/tweetybirdlover
  • 05
    Font - It's ended up a huge mess, causing problems with the whole group, and changing how everyone feels about the wedding. I feel horrible and didn't want any of that to happen. Now the bride is saying I can fix it all if I just agree to be "co maid of honor". I still feel like that's too much for me to take on. So AITA?
    via u/tweetybirdlover
  • 06
    Font - RB13277 hr. ago NTA and I'm not sure why you think any of these people are worthy of being your friends. As an aside, MOH used to be just that---an honor. Now it's like an unpaid slave for a bridezilla.
    via u/RB13277
  • 07
    Font - Foggy_Radish 7 hr. ago NTA - what is her absolute obsession with you being MOH? I mean, it can't be because you are good friends. Good friends don't treat each other like she is treating you. I would just move on from this friendship. Other friendships may fail as well, depending on how much power she has over the others. But it is what it is. Life is too short to let other people control you.
    via u/Foggy_Radish
  • 08
    Font - patjames904 7 hr. ago Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [308]] NTA. Honey, she is no friend. She is controlling and manipulative. She has no regard for what you have to do as well as what you are going through. This is no one's business except for you and her. The rest don't get a vote. You do not have to justify your decision to ANYONE. I would cut all ties with her. You do not need her toxicity in your life. You also don't need those people who are siding with her.
    via u/patjames904
  • 09
    Font - DumpyGrumpyFrumpy. 7 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA. You have enough on your plate as it is, and you are doing the right thing for yourself, and the bride, by refusing to take on a commitment that you may not be able to keep. That is not remotely selfish. If the bride can't have any empathy for your situation because OMG IT'S HER SPECIAL DAY HOW VERY DARE YOU NOT OBEY HER EVERY WHIM, then she can f off into the sun.
    via u/DumpyGrumpyFrumpy
  • 10
    Rectangle - jrm1102 7 hr. ago Asshole Aficionado [15] NTA, you understand that you wouldn't be able to take this on and made the decision that's best for you and your family.
    via u/jrm1102
  • 11
    Font - commenter23450 - 7 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [36] NTA they seem to lack empathy for whatever it is your husband needs caregiving for. I think in the late 20s early 30s friend groups go through a lot of changes because of busy schedules, kids, taking care of aging parents, moving because of jobs. Not all friends groups make it through that time, and that's okay.
    via u/commenter23450
  • 12
    Font - Shells613 5 hr. ago NTA. She calls you names and then still wants you to be co-matron of honour? (not maid). This doesn't sound like friendship or an honour anymore. Sounds like obligation and free labour. To me, this experience is already spoiled. And you can lose the half of friends who are not sympathetic to you.
    via u/Shells613

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aita bride bridesmaids wedding bridezilla
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